Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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