My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
