I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
