is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
