honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
