Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
