I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
