Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Who wears a wallet chain?!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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