I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm going to jail i love you
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
