He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
