did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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