At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just found puke in my bra..
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize