my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
