my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
