I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
