he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
A+ Viking dick
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize