So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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