writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
