i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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