I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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