ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize