oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
