epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's never too late to be topless.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
