It's Friday. Sex?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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