Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
