It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
