I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
