T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
