I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Randomize