I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
