Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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