Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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