I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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