I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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