Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
