Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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