So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Randomize
