I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
