I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
