WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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