Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
