she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
