Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
