So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
