no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
