I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
