I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So much rum. So many feels.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize