how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
