It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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