so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
