How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
