is your mom at the bar?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
