I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
