i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
