when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Help. Why am I so naked?
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