allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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