is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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