Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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