1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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