that's an acceptable place to lick
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize