i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize