i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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