Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Randomize