4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
