I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
do nipples grow back?
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