I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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