Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Everything about him screamed your future.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize