remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He did a backflip because drugs
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
