and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
