You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
