i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
