I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
