come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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