am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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