i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
