i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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