at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
