K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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