My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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