I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
