she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
