Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
